


Three Little Words

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-12
Updated: 2004-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-05 23:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a short short this year since 'Red is the Colour That I Like the Best' took all of my Valentineing for the next few years. Pre-slash. Pre-Cadmium II leak; everyone's still alive and kicking and capable of maudlin sentiments.</p><p>Dedicated to my Dervikins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Little Words

**Author's Note:**

> Red Dwarf characters belong to Grant Naylor.

'This is impossible!'

Rimmer had thought he was muttering to himself, but apparently he hadn't been. Lister responded from where he was sprawled on the bunk, 'What's impossible?'

'You know what Saturday is, right?'

'Valentine's Day.' Lister's eye roll was audible. 'What're you doing? Writing a Valentine? Who to?'

'It doesn't matter who it's to if I can't write the smegging thing.' Rimmer dropped his pen on the table. 'If I can't say this any other day then how is it going to be any easier just because the calendar says it's okay to say it?'

'Rimmer, Valentines are anonymous. That's the whole point.' Lister had already written his twelve Valentines (all to Kristine Kochanski) and dropped them into the ship's internal mail, despite the fact that Valentine's Day was still a couple of days away. 'Why not just write _I love you_ and see if you get a response?'

'But if it's anonymous how will they know it's me and be able to respond to me?'

'Considering all you'll get is another slap across the face, why worry? Just do it, if you're doing it.'

Rimmer grumbled through another three sheets of pink paper before crumpling them all and taking them outside to the Waste Disposal Unit. One page, however, got folded and tucked into an envelope. Of the two of them, Lister was the expert on relationships. If he said it was alright, then it had to be. Sort of. Maybe. Well, it was better than no advice at all.

* * *

Lister sat with his head in his hands. A fairly thick document with the JMC letterhead and the name of one of the ship's lawyers printed obscenely large on the front page lay on the floor next to the bunk.

'What's the matter with you?' Rimmer asked, coming back into the room after checking his own mail slot and finding it empty. 'Did Kochanski send back all your Valentines?'

'No. She sent me a restraining order.' Lister's shoulders shook.

Rimmer looked down at the offending piece of mail, not quite daring enough to pick it up and read it. 'Why?'

'I'm a bad influence. I have to stay a hundred yards from her at all time.' Lister looked down at the floor. 'Right now I'm two hundred and four yards from her, unless she's gone to refill her coffee.' Something got his attention. 'Wait.' He bent down and nudged aside the restraining order, pulling the second envelope from beneath it, the envelope that had gone overlooked in light of the first one's contents.

Rimmer attempted to sidle backwards. 'Uh, so someone sent you a Valentine. Maybe someone else out there likes you. It's not the end of the world! I'll bet it's whatshername that keeps winking at you in the mess hall...'

Lister pulled the pink paper out of the envelope, read the three little words written there in the copperplate that was almost as familiar to him as his own unintelligible scrawl. He lifted his head and met his roommate's eyes.

'Me?' His voice was a husky imitation of itself. 'Me?'

Rimmer looked back at him, his gaze unwavering. 'You.'


End file.
